Dating & Marriage 101: What is God’s Will for Me?

relationship101If you love Me, you will keep My commandments.
John 14:15

RC Sproul, Pastor and founder of Ligonier Ministries, superbly parses apart God’s preceptive and decretive will in order to help Believers determine God’s plan for their lives. God’s preceptive will is “revealed commandments of God’s published law/Bible” (i.e. not murder, not divorce, not covet, not steal, not commit sexual sin). God’s decretive will are the things that which are the sovereign, hidden things of God that will be revealed with time. These are things that will come to pass regardless of circumstances or human efforts. Pastor Sproul states that as Believers we can become preoccupied with knowing the hidden will (i.e. Is s/he the one?) that we neglect to honor and perform God’s revealed or preceptive will.

So YOU want to be married but are unsure if it is God’s Will for you to be married? Let’s examine what God has revealed on this topic in His Word.

1. Ladies, did your suitor find/pursue you (or was it the other way around)?

He who finds a wife finds a good thing and obtains favor from the LORD.
Proverbs 18:22

2. Does your suitor authentically love God?

• Observe Sabbath – Deuteronomy 5:12
• Honor his parents – Ephesians 6:2, Exodus 20:12
• Avoid sexual sin – 1 Corinthians 6:13
• Tithe – Malachi 3
• Gives generously – 2 Corinthians 9:6
• Fellowships with other believers – Hebrews 10:25
• Keeps wholesome talk – Ephesians 4:20
• Keeps his eyes from sin – Psalm 101:3
• Humble – Romans 12:16
• Forgiving – Romans 12:17-20
• Fruitful (Fruits of the Spirit) – Galatians 5:22-23
• Godly love – 1 Corinthians 13:4-8
• Keeps all God’s commands – John 14:15

God is not the creator of confusion; He gives us a sound mind and the Spirit of peace. If a suitor has found you and demonstrates authentic love of the Lord, then congratulations you have a fantastic Kingdom opportunity for a Godly marriage. If you are still unsure if this match is God’s divine plan for you, rest and wait on the Lord. If it is God’s secret or hidden will that you marry this suitor, it will be.

There is no wisdom, no insight, no plan that can succeed against the LORD.
Proverbs 21:30

Many are the plans in a person’s heart, but it is the LORD’s purpose that prevails.
Proverbs 19:21

In their hearts humans plan their course, but the LORD establishes their steps.
Proverbs 16:9

What about the married women of God who in hindsight have come to understand that it was God’s desire she have not married the unbeliever or baby Believer? Should she divorce or annul the marriage and start over with a Godly man who meets the above criteria?

To the married I give this command (not I, but the Lord): A wife must not separate from her husband. But if she does, she must remain unmarried or else be reconciled to her husband. And a husband must not divorce his wife.
1 Corinthians 7:10-11

Anyone who divorces his wife and marries another woman commits adultery, and the man who marries a divorced woman commits adultery.
Luke 16:18

A sizeable portion of the Faith struggles with the concept of divorcing and starting over. God’s preceptive will is that the married not divorce, even in instances of spiritual immaturity. God forgives us for violating His preceptive will in marrying someone who did not meet His mark or for ourselves not meeting the mark in being a Spiritually mature mate. Yet in that forgiveness, He still holds us accountable to the covenant made in the marriage vows and divorce is not His plan. His plan is that the married individual who has received the revelation of their past errors in wisdom, learn from it and use it to show God’s love to their unbelieving or Spiritually immature spouse. And in turn convert the spouse to the Kingdom of God.

Wives, in the same way submit yourselves to your own husbands so that, if any of them do not believe the word, they may be won over without words by the behavior of their wives, when they see the purity and reverence of your lives.
1 Peter 3:1-2

Abba, we thank you for your revelation of truth. Help us to grow towards your perfect will for our lives. – Amen

Related Posts: Is He Marriage Worthy? ; Is She Marriage Worthy? ; Coincidence, Fate, Providence, & Signs: Is this Relationship Meant to Be? ; God Hasn’t Answered My Prayers on This Relationship
Resources: Finding Your Spouse in God’s Will; Divorce & Starting Over
Photo Credit: Bing